Well, actually a lot more than that/Īrt (calling Tatanka vs. Gorilla: “Five hundred pounds-PLUS, Art!”Īrt: “Well, dat’s not fair! The other guy, the other fella only weighs half the amount!”Īrt (on Tatanka): “How much does dis fella weigh?” He takes all of that off, Art.”Īrt (on Mabel): “How much does dat guy weigh?” Schyster’s character just in case there was anyone out there who didn’t comprehend its loftly concept): “Randy, is dis one a’ the wrestlers? He looks like a businessman!”Īrt (referring to either IRS or Mabel): “Is dis the way he’s gonna wrestle? With his clothes on?” Gorilla: “Well, Art, she wants her man, Bam Bam Bigelow, to be victorious and move on to the semifinals.”Īrt (calling the action as Bam hit an enziguiri): “When you do dat kind of work-with-da-feet, can you hit ‘im?Īrt (empathetically selling the agony of his guy Razor in Bam’s torture rack): “Gorilla, is he dead?!”Īrt (getting over Irwin R. Instead, I’ll keep my notes to a minimum, and quite literally, let the man speak for himself.Īrt (on Luna Vachon doing her psycho “Luna-Tick” character at ringside): “What’s the girl over there screamin’ at?”
#Art donovan full
Also, it would be way too abstract, like boxes in boxes full of boxes, or something. For me to do a running commentary on Art’s running commentary would dishonor the sheer magnitude of his contribution to wrestling history. Or I could just point to the below example that every time the camera showed Art, he just generally looked befuddled as hell.īut no. I could raise the concern that his repeated inquiries of “Did dat really hurt ‘im?” didn’t do any favors for us on the suspension-of-disbelief front. I could belabor how his “Grampa Simpson” style of delivery piped up with some bit of nonsense just often enough to remind you he was there, while at the same time, chasing all other cohesive thoughts from your mind. Bam Bam Bigelow), Art not-so-suddenly recognized his man, and blurted out, “This is the guy dat I picked ta win! Razor!”įolks, I could go on and on about how Art’s knowledge of the product was less-than-nil. Art enthusiastically replied, “Ray-zer Ramon!” Now, I’m not saying that Art’s pick was (ahem) predetermined for him, but nearly six minutes into the first match of the PPV (Razor vs. Gorilla followed up by asking Art for his prediction to win the KOTR tournament. Scant seconds into the PPV, we were off to a great start as Gorilla screwed up Art’s name. Why the WWF thought he was qualified to be a color commentator is anybody’s guess, but then again, this is the company that put Jim Ross out to pasture, while Todd Grisham still reports to the makeup chair every Monday afternoon.Īrt didn’t know jumping jack crap about wrestling, but to be fair, wrestling apparently didn’t know him either. He enjoys a measure of celebrity in Baltimore, as something of a fun-loving personality.
Some history on Art: He’s an NFL Hall-Of-Famer, best known as a defensive tackle for the Baltimore Colts. In another grab for that elusive celebrity rub, Gorilla Monsoon and “Macho Man” Randy Savage were joined at the broadcast table by Baltimore’s own Art Donovan. The second King Of The Ring PPV took place in the Baltimore Arena on 6/16/94. We patiently answer every question, helping our companion gain a foothold in this wrestling called pro.īut if, by chance, you’ve never experienced this type of interpersonal communication firsthand, the WWF decided to force it upon you one summer’s eve. We hope to share that feeling when we jump out of our seats, kick the cat, and mark out like there is no tomorrow.
We want them to see our favorite wrestlers, matches, interviews, and angles. After enough cajoling, begging, and/or threatening, we’ve all finally managed to convince a friend or relative to plunk down on the couch with us and give this “wrestling” stuff a look-see.
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